Adler's Cove

Session 5 - We're going Down....

To start, there was much confusion on the map because the DM had a proliferation of ½ square walls. One we got that straightened out, we could you know actually start doing something.

We head back to the beginning of the dungeon and head to the east half of the dungeon. Walking down the hall we hear dragging chains and feel oppressive heat. Moving into the room we find a room full of ash and a pit, full of nasty boiling blood and bones and nasty shit. Tunnels on the far side have smoke issuing forth from them and the sounds of chains and anvils.

Moving through the tunnels we find a forge room with dwarf figure draped in chains, hounds that are basking in the heat and a small huddled figure at the base of the anvil. Forge is massive, huge anvil with blacksmithing tools. Dwarf (Droskar Forge Spurned) is stout and wrapped in chains, forging a new link for his chains. 5 hounds covered in coats of ash, and little bitch Jurin is whining.

The dwarf had a signature attack, when he opened his mouth and spewed a cone of ass… em, err ash.

Nasty fight left us beat to shit and Elril had to be given an intravenous healing potion, but after many misses we eventually prevailed.

We find some cash and a hammer worth some cash, but NO magic items yet again…

We also rescue Jurin. He starts whining about his father (the Mayor… big whoop) like the little bitch he is.

After more exploration we find the ‘maze’ where the kiddo’s found the ghost of Proudhammer.

After some exploration we find 3 small goblin skeletons coated in shimmering slime. The slime appears to be acidic. Opening a door yields a square room lined with shelves, stone crafts and statues. The work it rather plain, not impressed. Perhaps they were produced by toiling and uninspired labor. Leaving the room we continue to explore and find another door with a room much like the last just smaller.

Another room by the skeletons yields more crappy stone crafts. Another door and another room with crappy statues but this time there are skeletons that aren’t entirely dead yet. They are still slimy, but they are animated.

Before we can bust a cap in skeleton ass a blue glowing headless dwarf floats towards us down the corridor. He is wearing shiny Mithral armor and moon shining shield with a large craghammer. We also see something translucent in front of him. Note to dipshit kids, it’s not a ghost, it’s a dead dude that got eaten by a gelatinous cube but he can’t digest the magic stuff. Note to self, next time one of the dipshit kids tells us something, slap them, they probably got it wrong. Also, the skeletons were getting back up after we killed them which was cool, because we got to kill even more shit.

We killed all that shit and no one even got eaten by the cube because wardens get to save twice biatch, so they don’t get eaten by motile acid cube creatures. We find that after washing it the dwarf gear is actually magic dwarf gear. We find a set of +1 Mithral Scale Armor, a +2 Earth-Wrought hammer (that’s actually not wrought of earth, but more on that later) and a Heavy Shield of Silver Light that the DM found on an endcap at Target.

We finish exploring the maze of Martha Stewart’s recurring nightmare of crappy crafts and head to a set of heavy metal doors. Listen at the doors we do not hear anything, not even heavy metal music, WTF, heavy metal my ass. We find another set of supposed heavy metal doors. Pushing on them, neither set is opening, so we continue exploring and interestingly we find 2 dead end corridors opposite the door ending in ‘hard rock’ walls.

The DM forgot to mention that there was a nook in the doors that could be used to pull them open, so that made all the difference. Not sure how our perception roll of 56 didn’t notice that the first time around (grumble, grumble). The doors actually do open when pulled, and yet STILL no heavy metal music (or even hard rock) is heard.

Massive and heavy iron doors open to a large circular chamber with 4 sets of double doors at each cardinal direction. A strange stone obelisk sits in the center of the room. Bones lie on the floor and bits of metal litter the ground around the obelisk.

Obelisk rises floor to ceiling, it is banded in metal bands and encrusted with deposits of a strange greenish metal. Elril foolishly advanced into the room and triggered a lighting trap (although he did complain that he felt compelled to do so by some force outside his control… whatever). Our door slammed shut and two sets of doors slammed open and the obelisk seemed to light up. The doors were hiding some gay magma platform diving elementals. The obelisk magnetized and gayness ensued. There was a drawn out combat that was oddly annoying yet slow but easy. Also, Elril loves the hammer and all but is pissed off, I mean it has a cool name and all, but it’s made out of metal like all the other hammers. Apparently truth in advertising laws haven’t yet shown up in Adler’s Cove.

We took a long rest and Kimi tried to sneak off and rescue Hollin because he was scheduled to be sacrificed today. So we tied her up (should’ve slapped her as well). Next morning we find stairs heading down leading to what looks like daylight.

Bright daylight streams from the open caldera above upon the most beautiful staircase we have ever seen. There is a large MAAAGMA (see below) chamber below about 160 feet across. The staircase appears to be constructed of a single piece of glowing metal, roughly 20 feet wide and it, unlike the caldera, cuts a perfect circle. Gleaming statues of dwarfs stand (careful now) erect with hammers and ….picks. One sweaty (how homo-erotic can we get) dwarf statue with a forge hammer and a wondrous craft in his hand, a statuette of Moradin.

We head down the stairs to the first landing and find a double door leading north. The stairs continue down but we decide to head to the door. Opening the door reveals a plain unadorned tunnel, leading to a room full of crap that even goodwill wouldn’t take. Of course there is a 5 foot tunnel that means we had to change our marching order… yeah… fun stuff.

This ‘tunnel’ wasn’t even straight, and opened into a fun chamber of certain death. The chamber has stalagmites and a pool of water with a bridge spanning it. Several penis serpents are frolicking in the wave lapped waters. A small goblin is in the room and screams out howeuefuckyoufuckalotryanisgay (which is goblin for alarm). The goblin then ran across the bridge and out of sight. ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!

Then tons of shitty little goblins attacked. Then fucking cheating cave fishers attacked. Roark went cave fisher bungee jumping which is actually not as cool as you would think. Plus dwarves in heavy armor don’t swim real well so that was fun too. We eventually killed some shit and Roark turned the cave fisher into a nasty helmet.

The tunnel to the east appears to be worked by tools as opposed to carved by a beast like the other tunnels. North east on the other hand is a beast tunnel and dark and quiet. North West is a beast tunnel with a dim light and sounds of deep chanting.


Not my fault you guys can’t map my shit. Just wait until you feebly try to map as you crawl through more beast-tunnels! Hahaha!

Session 5 - We're going Down....
Nortius_Maximus Nortius_Maximus

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